don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize