I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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