Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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