Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
