there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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