I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
jump out the window naked night went bad
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize