You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit