he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
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I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
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We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.