He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.