You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
