Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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