one might say we're banned from that church
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
