Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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