How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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