found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
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As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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