can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
