he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
