yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
