You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.