Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.