Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I love how my cats smell like pot.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*