what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
We left the knife in your bed.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.