Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
