Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
