i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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