I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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