all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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