You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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