Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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