We're like a lot better than the average bears
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
