About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize