I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
