He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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