I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
