my vag is so smooth its legendary
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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