I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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