I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
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