The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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