ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
