nutella sex= disaster
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
