i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize