She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
