I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
