I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
