Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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