I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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