The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
