And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
