So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
