I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I deserve to be covered in dicks
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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