I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
