I'm jealous of your bromance
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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