I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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