the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
