i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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