party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
