Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
