i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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