Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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